Could you spend a week without reading? The Artist's Way, Check-in - Week 4

I’m following the artist’s way by Julia Cameron, a step by step guide for getting in touch with your creative-self. This week was about regaining a sense of integrity, and included one of the most difficult tasks for a writer; reading deprivation. 

That’s a whole week without reading, which sounds silly, if not crazy, seeing as seasoned pros often say beginning writers don’t read enough scripts, books etc. It was a helpful exercise and got me to focus on being creative, listening to my own voice, and not being afraid or too distracted to let it out and take form.

The aim is to get artists to do things they'd otherwise put off, such as pruning the garden, washing the car, or going out for a walk or a run. It was difficult as I was on holiday and didn’t have much time to myself, though I fleshed out an idea for a ten minute film on the flight, and had time for introspection when stopped at coffee shops. I decided I wanted a plant for my room, and wrote an old friend. I managed to get in touch with myself, and realised my deep seated desires.

I’ve known for a while that I read a lot. It’s scary how many times I float in my room thinking, “what should I do now?” but I’m actually battling between the feeling I must read and the desire to do something else. I've even been anxious about reading before; “there are so many articles, I’ve got a stack of books to read, and then there are scripts, short stories.” It soon adds up. This exercise pushed all of that away and let me use my imagination for once. I’ve now got a few shorts in mind, a new idea for my screenplay, a plan for my play, and a host of blog articles I want to write. Whilst I think it’s important to read widely, I found it even more beneficial to break it up with quiet moments, and do soul nourishing activities I wouldn't normally allow myself to do.

Once again, easy accomplishes it.

As much as listening to what we want, this week focused on cutting out what we don’t want. I found key parts of life I’d simply been putting up with, pretending I’m okay whilst my soul dies a little more each day. I’ve been in situations like this before, and it often seems to take a final blow to push me out the door. Cameron calls these Kriyas, a final crisis, the icing on the cake. I once had a job I didn’t like, but hung in there whilst looking for something else, and then, when the job relocated without warning, taking me on a bus journey out of town, I know exactly what I had to do.  

Reading deprivation helped me discover my values, and I soon knew things that weren’t on my wavelength. I'm tempted to take drastic action to replace these soul destroying parts of life with positive people and work I love. It’s a little scary, and I’m nervous about taking the leap, but I know cutting out the bad will make way for the new.

I feel connected to a bigger creative channel I can draw on whenever I need. I’m having lots of synchronicity too. I got the bus to the airport precisely when I’d planned, it arrived at the terminal precisely when I’d planned, and then I realised I’d read the times wrong and was early. Instead of waiting around, we were bumped onto an earlier flight with a free upgrade and no extra charge. I’d been dreading a short change to catch the second to last train home, but now had plenty of time. The pressure was off because I followed my gut.

I’ve also found things manifesting in my life rather quickly. By this I mean thoughts and feelings appearing soon after I’ve thought them. This week’s tasks had me write my own artists prayer, which included a phrase about bringing more like-minded people into my life. The day after I’d written my prayer, I went to my regular theatre workshop, and instead of being the youngest by a fair margin, found lots of similar aged actors who I immediately connected with, and had a fantastic day. 

It sounds like coincidence, but I know it’s a combination of morning pages, my prayers to the great creator, and positive, honest thoughts. It’s scary to think I’ve opened myself up to this roller coaster ride of creativity, but also exciting. I can’t wait to see what happens next. So next time you feel an urge to read, ask yourself, is there something else you'd rather be doing? You might be surprised by what you do instead.

The Artist's Way, Check In - Week 3

I'm following The Artist's Way, a step-by-step recovery programme for blocked artists. I knew week three would be difficult when put on mostly 6.30 starts at work. I've worked a few in a week before but had to pick up the slack to cover a colleague on holiday. I had a day off before they started and used the time for my artist date. 

I took a fantastic two hour walk through the country and took lots of pictures. I really let myself play with the camera and was really proud of my snaps. I felt the creative child within laughing with joy, and that's when I experienced more synchronicity. I was thinking about volunteering with the Ramblers, an organisation who help access pathways across the country, when two seconds later, I looked to a post and saw a sign demonstrating the Ramblers work. 

Once the mornings started, and I came home drained and frustrated that I couldn't work on the many projects in mind, I felt disconnected, and worried I was having a major creative relapse. I continued to write my morning pages (at 5.30am!) and worked on the exercises, which actually helped me understand what was going on.

The exercises were about listening to what we need to nurture ourselves and be nurtured, instead of what we think we should have and do. It had you list bad habits, think about nurturing people in your life and people you admire, and if you admire them for what you think you should be doing, or if they truly are a role model to learn from.

In the light of all this, I can say my slump was down to a host of bad habits, foes and opinions. I worked lots of hours and felt really tired, and could've just run with this, and said, okay, I'm tired, I'll rest. Cameron even says its normal to have some unproductive days. I guess a subtle foe this week was not having the time to write, and hanging out with people not on a creative wavelength, giving to others rather than giving to myself. 

Last week we thought about protecting ourselves, and I certainly need to protect myself from these unsociable hours and ensure I don't continue to have my energy sapped. Failing that, I could've accepted this as a down week and run with it. I could've baked each day and taken my down week to the self-nurturing max, but I didn't. 

Why? 

I knew I was on holiday the following week and wouldn't get much done, so wanted to pick up the slack and write my ass off. I felt I had to be productive, like some of my friends whom I thought I admired, who are so very productive all the time, and whose careers have taken off at alarming speed. In reality, I only think I should admire these people and be as productive as them, despite what my body might be telling me. I felt I should be working despite my tiredness. Opinions about what is worthy and right clouded my inner compass. This inner compass is what Cameron calls our intuitive sense of what we truly need in regards to health, and when something is truly right or wrong for us. I betrayed my inner compass and didn't give it the rest it was begging for.

It might be worth me thinking about how I spend my time and if the job I'm in is truly beneficial towards my inner artist. I can also tattoo Cameron's lovely phrase to every inch of my body. 

"Easy accomplishes it"

I cannot free the artist within through pressure and demanding. I must be self-nurturing, even if I feel it doesn't take me anywhere fast. I must be willing to listen to the artist within.

The Artist's Way, Check In - Week 2

I'm following The Artist's Way, a step-by-step recovery programme for blocked artists. The second week encouraged I do things I enjoy to regain a sense of identity. It was a roller-coaster week, where everything either fell into place, or left me in fear that my recovery would be short lived.

I never thought I was blocked until I read this book, and realised all the hits to my self-esteem had built up a wall of fear between me and my creativity. The Artist's Way encourages followers to write three pages of long-hand stream of consciousness thoughts and feelings every morning. I felt they were taking up my precious time and started as a real chore, but I couldn't wait to get my thoughts on the page by the end of the second week. They brought clarity to my day, and enabled me to plan ahead, capture new ideas for stories, or rant about annoying encounters.

This week I wrote affirmations with my morning pages and read the basic principles day and night, a set of guidelines setting the purpose of the book, my favourite being;  "When we open ourselves to exploring our creativity, we open ourselves to God: good orderly direction." Cameron says her use of the word God isn't religious, but refers instead to a divine source of creative energy. I felt more connected to this energy as the week went by, and found myself in the right place at the right time, what Cameron calls synchronicity.

I went to a Hawk Conservancy to get in touch with Eagle energy after reading a book on power animals. The flying display was cut short due to the wind, so the handler brought a bird for us to hold, one which they don't normally allow in the hands of the public, a Bald Eagle, the animal I came in search of connecting with.

This confirmed I was on the right path. I felt full of energy as I allowed myself to spend a few hours baking and playing Zelda on the Wii. One exercise required I write a list of ten tiny changes, and as a result I wrote an old friend. I felt more creative, and wrote blog posts, articles, and finished a scene for a new play. The exercises nurtured my creative self, opening me to my creativity, which bore the fruits of synchronicity and joy.

My magical day was followed by a slump. I went for a walk as my artist date, but cut it short as the car-park closed early. I had more shifts at a hotel, and felt myself slipping from the creative power I'd felt. Thankfully, week three mentioned this as a normal part of recovery, and I should see such days as a chance to rest. Morning pages were really useful on these difficult days, as they gave me a chance to reacquaint myself with my desires, set my intention with the great creator, and bring positive thoughts through affirmation.

Next week is all about recovering a sense of power, something I feel I could use as I continue my journey.