How to Turn-Out Your Creativity like a Wardrobe

When was the last time you had a turn-out? If you’re anything like me, it’s been a while; five years of bills and receipts, CDs I once enjoyed, and photos and bric-a-brac of memories long since passed. It was liberating to clear out the clutter, lending to clear thought and concentration, leading me to wonder if the same could be done with creative ideas.

My turn-out was inspired in part by Julia Cameron’s book, The Prosperous Heart, which views prosperity not as money but as self-worth, and hopes to free readers of anxiety and increase the flow of creativity into their lives. “Clearing away the rubble makes for clear thoughts,” she says in chapter four, and such was my experience.

I was meant to be packing up my room for moving, but instead filled several bin-bags with paperwork and boxes of CDs to sell. It didn’t stop there though. I unsubscribed from several newsletters and emails that I never read, and tossed out old magazines. It was nice to feel clarity returning as I filed away my neatly closed folder of documents into my tidy drawer.

Memories and bric-a-brac were the worst, such as old photos of out of touch friends from school, and old receipts, badges and tickets. I threw it all out, save a few key cards from big events and photos from treasured family holidays. What was scary was how those items brought back the same memories, feelings and emotions as when I’d first filed them away, although now I’d changed and the memories no longer fit. I found a ring once given to a past girlfriend, and could remember the same love I’d felt, which now seemed naïve and wrong. From out of sight, energy remains, and stops new energy flowing into your life, energy you may need, so it’s good to throw out these things, like old clothes you no longer like to wear.

The experience reminded me of something I’d read in The Wind is My Mother, a book by Native American Medicine Man, Bear Heart. He spoke of the vision quest, a venture into wilderness to communicate with a higher being. His questers fasted for up to four days in the wild, which allowed them to become vessels, empty of daily requirements and thought to allow communication to flow through them. I re-read this and thought about my turn-out, how I was now free of clutter and open to receive.

I’m not saying we need to go without daily requirements or possessions to be creative (and stress Bear Heart’s warnings that these quests are only done with an experienced sponsor) but look at how freeing ourselves of clutter, filling our lives with only that which we enjoy, and how, for example, clearing out junk emails and staying on top of our finances can leave us with a clearer, freer mind, hopefully allowing creativity to flow more easily though us.

I also believe you can turn-out your creativity, much like a cupboard or a wardrobe, and discard those ideas and projects that no longer fit or excite. I really wanted to crack on with another project after my masters, and filled my head with ideas for feature films, shorts and plays. My insecurity over writing my next big thing led me to become so clogged with story threads that I couldn’t concentrate on a single one.

I wrote down my ideas in a word document, taking them from brain to paper, freeing me of the burden of carrying them. I then went through and asked of each story what it was really about. Several seemed to be about the same thing, so I collated those ideas into a single idea that expressed what I wanted to say. Some seemed to best relate to old projects that still needed work, so I decided rather than write something new, I’d revisit a past project.

I also asked why I want to write this story. What excites me about it, and if nothing, out it went. I also asked if the idea was practical, if the characters and motivations were believable, and some I found didn’t really fit together, and so I cast those aside too. In the end, I had a much shorter list, but of ideas that I could honestly say I wanted to work on.

Clearing our environment of junk to allow clear thinking, allowing ourselves to become a vessel for creativity to flow through us, and organising our creative ideas to stop us being weighed down and unable to write have been the focus of this post. If you’ve been at all clogged or unfocused, perhaps some of this could apply to you. If so, take a breath, relax, turn-out unwanted possessions and ideas, and take baby-steps each day towards your goal.

If anything, I hope this advice will guide you to a freer and happier existence, and open doors to fresh energies and experiences, as I hope to bring into my renewed, creative life.

Click the following link to check out Julia Cameron's, The Prosperous Heart.

And here for more information on Bear Heart's book, The Wind is My Mother.

Do Little, Achieve Much; The Artist's Way, Check-in - Week 8

After a weekend away, anxiety and guilt had me geared up to write a stream of pages, when disaster struck; I fell ill. I panicked about time and fell into desperation. Thankfully, this week of the Artist’s Way was about re-working our perceptions of time to regain a sense of strength, realising how much we can achieve through baby-steps towards our goals.

I became empowered after the previous week when I discovered many opportunities to further my career, until I realised I wasn’t doing those things, and spent hours clogging my head with jobs, freelancing work and competitions, forgetting my main goal of the week; to write my pages.

That’s where the exercises came in. Julia Cameron talks of filling the form, which in essence means taking small steps to reach your goals. One exercise had me state my true goal for different projects. As a songwriter, the goal was to have an audience enjoy a performance, and as I worked back from the big goal in five years, to join a local band, the steps got smaller, open mic in three years, record songs in a year, write songs in a month, play each week, eventually reaching today; buy new strings. 

It’s about realising we don’t need to act big to get things done. I often feel I must write in order to quantify myself as a writer. I must find opportunities and I must excel and be at the top of my game, but all of this is a distraction to actual writing. 

Why do I feel this way? 

I’ve not had a commission. I’ve not had a creative job in a long time, and failing as an artist is not an option. I don’t want to be a fool or fail parental figures. The hurts I’ve built up over the years force me to dwell on what I don’t have and waste time and energy contemplating them. 

But what do I have right now? When I think this way, I realise I’ve almost finished my first screenplay, so right now, I can finish it, and tick it off the list. I’m writing a lot of blog posts at the moment, so I can keep on doing those. I may not yet have paid work as a writer, but if I keep moving forward with projects regardless, I might just find some paid work in a few years’ time. This is empowering, taking stock of what I have, celebrating it, and using it to reach new heights, eventually.

The difference between how I felt at the start of the week and how I feel now is a subtle one, but it’s about realising how much we can do to better ourselves, but not worrying about it or thinking big, but thinking what we can do now to get there soon.

I got my power back by taking life a day at a time and accepting the time I had. I reduced my task list and eliminated the distractions of job hunting and everything else to get my pages done. By filling the form, I found time to submit an entry for a workshop I previously didn’t think I had the time to do.

Filling the form gets us active and moving, and helps us do what we enjoy. I’ve not written a poem in a while out of fear and the thought I should enter competitions. If I just get on with it, and write some poems, an activity I enjoy, I’ll not only end up with a poem, but a sense of bliss. That’s what it was like when I took my artist date, which I almost missed due to my anxiety. As I finished my walk, one I’ve wanted to do for a while in a new town, I felt like myself again. I can’t really explain it, but it was a mixture of joy, excitement and peace.

I think it’s all about acceptance of our situation and our needs; we can only do so much in a day. It’s also about thinking small, that by doing very little we can achieve so much. I can become a poet with a few daily words, a musician with a few minutes practice, and a writer with a few pages. When anxiety hits, I trust I'll eventually reach my goals if I just get on with it, one baby-step at a time. 

Following on from last week, I said I’d get back into poetry, and so as promised, is my first entry, Silly Poem, to reflect my approach of fun. It's only a stanza, a small poem, for a small step.

Silly Poem

A little ditty, a poem of fun
To free the child within
And cure the pain of work not done
For boredom is a sin

Jealousy; Negative Trait or Useful Guide? The Artist's Way, Check In - Week 7

This week of my journey along the Artist's Way focused upon cherishing ourselves by doing things we enjoy, but also asked a more difficult question; can jealousy be useful, and if so, how? I realised how many interests I'd left unexplored and my need for balance between achieving my goals and nurturing myself.

Julia Cameron includes many tools throughout the journey, but one very useful tool came up this week; the jealousy map. It's a list of people who make you jealous, what of, and what steps we can take to diffuse the jealousy. In this sense, jealousy can lead to interests, activities, hobbies, careers, and lifestyles we might enjoy, but for some reason have found a reason not to do. 

When I saw a friend had added her credit with the mountain rangers on her LinkedIn profile, I was hit by a surge of jealousy. I was glad for my friend's success, but felt I was missing out. I wrote down my feeling and instantly knew what was going on. A few weeks ago I'd considered joining the UK Charity, Ramblers, but I still hadn't. I'd put it off, and told myself I'd put my name down when I had less to do (whenever that would be). To cure my jealousy, I put my name down for the Ramblers and requested to join a local walking group, countering my negative reaction with a positive action.

I've put off Tai Chi, going to the theatre, baking, doing so few things I enjoy that I'm hardly ever me. Why? Anxiety, pressure. I'm heading towards the final deadline for my masters and I'm trying to write shorts, apply for jobs, ready, study, and once in a while, live a little for me. Not that I don't enjoy writing, but after being stuck in doors at my screen all day, I do tend to find my brain a little scrambled and crave a chance to get out and be me in all the other ways that my soul desires.

As much as allowing time, it's about taking risks. Not writing for an afternoon is a risk. I could miss a deadline for a competition or a great job. There are other risks too. What if I drive all the way to the martial arts centre and I don't like anyone? What if I go to the theatre alone and people look at me funny? I liberated myself with a trip alone to the cinema this week, the first step on my mission to act in the face of my fears, and embrace the things I love.

Cameron also talks about the fear of failure. I think the perfectionist within has stopped me writing poetry. This inner critique dates back a few summers where I'd spent it practising poetry and feeling quite good about it, so good that I entered a poem into a competition, heard nothing back, and didn't write for a while after. I may not be the best poet in the world after a summer, but I still won't allow myself to try, which is something I should fix, perhaps with weekly poems (watch this space!).

It's important to cherish ourselves by doing the things we enjoy, and doing them often, but I also think it's about slowing down and taking stock of what we have, and how we feel. One activity had me stand in a sacred space. This could be anywhere; a shop, museum, gallery, or for me, a grove of trees on my latest walk. I spent a few minutes being still and found the space filled me with energy. I think it's important to step back a while each day to just be you, as I often find I can loose sight of the world around me after a day of writing. This task helped me re-connect and find a sense of peace.

The hardest task of the week was making a collage of images to represent my past, present, and future, my dreams, and images I like. I found it hard to motivate myself as I've never really been cut and stick fan, but I loved it once I got started. I only had five out of ten magazines as we tend to read everything online at home (a sign of the times) but I found plenty of images. One magazine was from my old university which worked nicely for the past, and I included lots of images of hikers and places I'd like to travel to. It's now sitting proudly on my shelf as a testament to all things me.

I think, for me, a balance is needed between the time I put in to achieve my goals and connect with my true-self, even if it's work I enjoy, like writing. This comes back to my earlier post on creative workaholics, but now I can add the importance of nurturing ourselves by doing the 'me things' that make us happy. I think this could not only help us become happier in ourselves, but more active, creative, and ultimately, stronger, which is good, as next week is all about gaining a sense of strength.

As a little extra, listen to Scriptnotes Podcast episode #78 for an interesting discussion on jealousy and envy.

Could you spend a week without reading? The Artist's Way, Check-in - Week 4

I’m following the artist’s way by Julia Cameron, a step by step guide for getting in touch with your creative-self. This week was about regaining a sense of integrity, and included one of the most difficult tasks for a writer; reading deprivation. 

That’s a whole week without reading, which sounds silly, if not crazy, seeing as seasoned pros often say beginning writers don’t read enough scripts, books etc. It was a helpful exercise and got me to focus on being creative, listening to my own voice, and not being afraid or too distracted to let it out and take form.

The aim is to get artists to do things they'd otherwise put off, such as pruning the garden, washing the car, or going out for a walk or a run. It was difficult as I was on holiday and didn’t have much time to myself, though I fleshed out an idea for a ten minute film on the flight, and had time for introspection when stopped at coffee shops. I decided I wanted a plant for my room, and wrote an old friend. I managed to get in touch with myself, and realised my deep seated desires.

I’ve known for a while that I read a lot. It’s scary how many times I float in my room thinking, “what should I do now?” but I’m actually battling between the feeling I must read and the desire to do something else. I've even been anxious about reading before; “there are so many articles, I’ve got a stack of books to read, and then there are scripts, short stories.” It soon adds up. This exercise pushed all of that away and let me use my imagination for once. I’ve now got a few shorts in mind, a new idea for my screenplay, a plan for my play, and a host of blog articles I want to write. Whilst I think it’s important to read widely, I found it even more beneficial to break it up with quiet moments, and do soul nourishing activities I wouldn't normally allow myself to do.

Once again, easy accomplishes it.

As much as listening to what we want, this week focused on cutting out what we don’t want. I found key parts of life I’d simply been putting up with, pretending I’m okay whilst my soul dies a little more each day. I’ve been in situations like this before, and it often seems to take a final blow to push me out the door. Cameron calls these Kriyas, a final crisis, the icing on the cake. I once had a job I didn’t like, but hung in there whilst looking for something else, and then, when the job relocated without warning, taking me on a bus journey out of town, I know exactly what I had to do.  

Reading deprivation helped me discover my values, and I soon knew things that weren’t on my wavelength. I'm tempted to take drastic action to replace these soul destroying parts of life with positive people and work I love. It’s a little scary, and I’m nervous about taking the leap, but I know cutting out the bad will make way for the new.

I feel connected to a bigger creative channel I can draw on whenever I need. I’m having lots of synchronicity too. I got the bus to the airport precisely when I’d planned, it arrived at the terminal precisely when I’d planned, and then I realised I’d read the times wrong and was early. Instead of waiting around, we were bumped onto an earlier flight with a free upgrade and no extra charge. I’d been dreading a short change to catch the second to last train home, but now had plenty of time. The pressure was off because I followed my gut.

I’ve also found things manifesting in my life rather quickly. By this I mean thoughts and feelings appearing soon after I’ve thought them. This week’s tasks had me write my own artists prayer, which included a phrase about bringing more like-minded people into my life. The day after I’d written my prayer, I went to my regular theatre workshop, and instead of being the youngest by a fair margin, found lots of similar aged actors who I immediately connected with, and had a fantastic day. 

It sounds like coincidence, but I know it’s a combination of morning pages, my prayers to the great creator, and positive, honest thoughts. It’s scary to think I’ve opened myself up to this roller coaster ride of creativity, but also exciting. I can’t wait to see what happens next. So next time you feel an urge to read, ask yourself, is there something else you'd rather be doing? You might be surprised by what you do instead.

The Artist's Way, Check In - Week 3

I'm following The Artist's Way, a step-by-step recovery programme for blocked artists. I knew week three would be difficult when put on mostly 6.30 starts at work. I've worked a few in a week before but had to pick up the slack to cover a colleague on holiday. I had a day off before they started and used the time for my artist date. 

I took a fantastic two hour walk through the country and took lots of pictures. I really let myself play with the camera and was really proud of my snaps. I felt the creative child within laughing with joy, and that's when I experienced more synchronicity. I was thinking about volunteering with the Ramblers, an organisation who help access pathways across the country, when two seconds later, I looked to a post and saw a sign demonstrating the Ramblers work. 

Once the mornings started, and I came home drained and frustrated that I couldn't work on the many projects in mind, I felt disconnected, and worried I was having a major creative relapse. I continued to write my morning pages (at 5.30am!) and worked on the exercises, which actually helped me understand what was going on.

The exercises were about listening to what we need to nurture ourselves and be nurtured, instead of what we think we should have and do. It had you list bad habits, think about nurturing people in your life and people you admire, and if you admire them for what you think you should be doing, or if they truly are a role model to learn from.

In the light of all this, I can say my slump was down to a host of bad habits, foes and opinions. I worked lots of hours and felt really tired, and could've just run with this, and said, okay, I'm tired, I'll rest. Cameron even says its normal to have some unproductive days. I guess a subtle foe this week was not having the time to write, and hanging out with people not on a creative wavelength, giving to others rather than giving to myself. 

Last week we thought about protecting ourselves, and I certainly need to protect myself from these unsociable hours and ensure I don't continue to have my energy sapped. Failing that, I could've accepted this as a down week and run with it. I could've baked each day and taken my down week to the self-nurturing max, but I didn't. 

Why? 

I knew I was on holiday the following week and wouldn't get much done, so wanted to pick up the slack and write my ass off. I felt I had to be productive, like some of my friends whom I thought I admired, who are so very productive all the time, and whose careers have taken off at alarming speed. In reality, I only think I should admire these people and be as productive as them, despite what my body might be telling me. I felt I should be working despite my tiredness. Opinions about what is worthy and right clouded my inner compass. This inner compass is what Cameron calls our intuitive sense of what we truly need in regards to health, and when something is truly right or wrong for us. I betrayed my inner compass and didn't give it the rest it was begging for.

It might be worth me thinking about how I spend my time and if the job I'm in is truly beneficial towards my inner artist. I can also tattoo Cameron's lovely phrase to every inch of my body. 

"Easy accomplishes it"

I cannot free the artist within through pressure and demanding. I must be self-nurturing, even if I feel it doesn't take me anywhere fast. I must be willing to listen to the artist within.

Can We Be Creative Workaholics?

I've been reading the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, a truly wonderful resource for 'blocked artists', and stumbled upon an interesting addiction apparently used to block creative energy; workaholism. As I read and ticked most of the boxes for a typical workaholic, I tried to make sense of how it applied to me, as I'm mostly a workaholic with creative projects. Not that I write more than anyone else, but seem to focus on writing and don't do much else, finding myself clogged and over-tired. Is it possible to be a creative workaholic?

"If I had more time I'd have more fun." Her phrase pretty much sums me up. I put off things that make me happy to achieve a perceived higher goal. I feel I must working on creative projects if I'm to make it as a writer, but often stop going to the cinema or reading scripts, stuff that would probably help my writing.

I sometimes don't want to cut back on any projects as I feel this will make me less worthy, lazy even. After reading this book, however, I think I take on so many projects to avoid finishing any of them, giving me the chance to slate myself and devoid myself of worth. It's fear that drives me, fear I won't become a successful writer unless I push myself. This is a problem also outlined in the book. In striving to be a great writer, I stop myself from becoming a writer at all.

I'll give an example. Earlier this year I had a conversation with my cousin, and after which revived an old blog and finally got round to setting this one up, something I've put off for a while. This was a positive step, but soon I became anxious. "How will I keep the deadlines?" I wondered, fearing that if I didn't, I'd seem a hack, not a real blogger at all. Before long, the blog posts were suffering, partly because I was doing too much, but also because I told myself I had to blog, or die.

I realised my mistake after reading the workaholic section. It's far better for me to firstly focus on a few projects to ensure I don't put myself under too much pressure. Secondly, I need to make sure I'm writing not because I fear I have to succeed in my goal, but because I want to, and have something to say. Right now I'm logged in not out of fear, but because I'm quite excited to share this revelation.

It seems a case of balance. We can and should put in time to reach our creative goals, but should be aware of piling our plates too high, and make sure we're writing for the right reasons: is it a need to succeed in our careers, or simply because today we want to write?