Creative Blocks; The Artist’s Way, Check In – Week Ten

What is a creative block? In The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron suggests work, alcohol, sex; anything to prevent us from facing the page. I never thought drinking with friends was a block, until I wondered if I aimed for a next day hangover to give myself a day free from writing.

This week was particularly hard for me as I freaked out about the value of my writing and desperately sought jobs to help me feel secure and successful, but after working though the exercises, I was back on track with some ground-breaking insights into why I sometimes pick up a creative block.

I started the week in a stupor about money and damned my writing. “This is so irresponsible,” I thought, “I really have to get my act together.” I wanted a back-up plan and a more secure career, something to support me and prove my greatness to others, a quick way up the ladder to success. I’m not actually all that competitive, but I do get jealous of other peoples successes and sometimes get angry at artists who're happy to get on with their creative work. It’s a defence mechanism. I’m not mad at them, but rather at myself for lacking the self-confidence to get on with my art.

I think it's okay to be sure of our abilities and rave about our latest ideas, as often it’s not us raving about how clever we are (although for some, it might be) but us getting excited about our art. This is passion. Happy, unblocked artists are happy to create till the cows come home and call themselves artists no matter what people think or how successful they are. It's like a musician friend once told me; "you can't please everyone," but you can certainly please yourself.

My desire for success stems out of a need for a success to hide behind. If I work in a pub, this is a threat, as how can I prove to others I'm an artist? I crave something tangible to show for my hard-work, otherwise I only have my creative projects to prove it, and what if they aren't any good? What am I then? I know I can’t not have a job for however long it takes for me to go from aspiring to published (although surely it's all about the journey and not a perceived goal of glory?), but I shouldn’t worry about the work I do in the meantime. As my passion is my writing, it doesn't matter what I do as long as I write. I am an artist no matter what it looks like to others.

Creative blocks seem to pop up when we are struck with fear, but as I learnt from the documentary, Finding Joe, fear doesn't go away. We can't get rid of it, but we can act in the face of it. Write despite our money fears and our insecurities about our day jobs or how we're going to pay the bills. This is my aim for the rest of this year. To become a carefree, happy writer. To become more me!

If you've ever felt life was like a movie..

...watch Finding Joe, a documentary about mythologist, Joesph Campbell, who discovered a universal pattern within heroic tales from cultures all over the world, and wrote his findings in a book called The Hero With A Thousand Faces. Finding Joe refers to it as a  miracle formula found in every story ever told, including every film ever made, which I find a little hard to swallow and sort of misses the point. It does, however, stress the similarities of these tales in life, and how we can learn from myth to improve our own lives.

It was Christopher Vogler who dubbed the term the Hero's Journey based upon Campbell's work, a story structure suited to screenplays, and Finding Joe seems to draw more heavily on this, though it does talk about Campbell's ideas.

Finding Joe looks at how the Hero's Journey can be applied to our lives, and how we can learn from the journeys of our favourite heroes; we leave home, go on a journey filled with conflict, and come home with new perspectives on life.

All of this sounds rather useless. So our lives are journeys like our favourite hero's, how does that help me? If we think about it, there are often times in life when we're called to do something outside our comfort zone. "Fancy singing Karaoke?" "Want to climb Kilimanjaro," "Here's a promotion, in India." For me it was a friend asking if I'd ever wanted to travel and stuffing a few brochures under my nose. Most often we deny this call. We say no. I won't sing, everyone will think I'm awful. I can't climb a mountain, leave it to professionals, and how can I move away from my friends/lover/husband/family? If we deny the call, we stay at home. We don't take the journey, but, if we face our fears, say yes, we'd better grab our coat. In this way, it is useful in recognising that opportunities can change us for the better.

Finding Joe talks about fears, and courage, how we can't get rid of fear, but it's courageous to act in the face of it, and can lead to great things. The words, stretch yourself are used a few times. It means doing something outside your comfort zone. I've taken a few hero's journeys, and each has involved doing something crazy.

I was in a job I hated and desperatley wanted out. I found a volunteering post in New Mexico for three months and was afraid to book it. I'd have to pay for it on credit card. I'd have to quit my job, and most of all, I'd have to travel on my own for the first time all the way to the states. I was afraid, but the calls kept coming. Friends talked none stop of travel. The job got worse. And then, one day whilst debating it with my parents on the bus home from work, I spied out the window a flashing, neon call to adventure; a bumper sticker that read, "Visit New Mexico!" It was that bumper sticker that made me say yes. I paid for the trip on credit card and quit my job and set out for the adventure of a life time. And to my amusement, my friends stopped talking of travel, and didn't book a thing. They were in my life for the sole purpose of pushing me over the precipice, and into action.

It changed me. It taught me about independance. I grew spiritually, and came back ready to embrace a life of freedom and courage. This was one of several adventures I've had in life so far, and each has been a similar process. I've left home, done something insane, learned from it, and come back home. That's where I am at the moment, back home with my eyes pealed for my next adventure. I feel the same worries and anxieties about achieving my goals as before, and perhaps my next adventure will help me push forward in spite of my fears.

"If we follow our bliss, doors will open where once there were only walls."

Campbell's phrase above is the best part of the documentary. It's about doing what we desire and not what we think we should do. I often think I should take a management role and earn money to support my dreams, but it's not my bliss. My bliss is outdoors, in walking, and in writing. Before I went to New Mexico I'd been trying for a career in television production, and only had several cancelled interviews to my name, but when I followed my bliss, and booked a trip to volunteer with wolves in the wilderness, I was rewarded by being asked to shoot video and edit films. I'd followed my bliss, and the universe had offered in kind the opportunity I'd been seeking.

If you're reading this thinking it's all very well talking about following your dreams, but it's not practical for some of us, you're probably denying a dream of your own. Prick up your ears and see if there are any calls to adventure you're not picking up. I'm far from perfect at following my bliss. I'm terrified about trying for a career as a freelance writer, but as the documentary says, if we have the courage to face our fears, great things can happen. We can be the hero of our own life movie.