Going Against The Grain; How To Embrace An Artistic Life. The Artist’s Way, Check-in – Week 11

I felt good this week. I’d hit the nail on the head when thinking about creative blocks, and started to regain a sense of self-belief through affirmation. This week focused on accepting who we are, and being brave enough to be ourselves in the face of the opinions of others and society. It’s about believing in yourself, your dreams and lifestyle, regardless how irresponsible you might feel.

We live in a success driven world, at least that’s how I feel when I tell people I’m a writer. “What have you written? Isn’t that hard? I hear only people with connections get in?” The concept of getting in suggests you can’t be a writer until you have films commissioned. Talking about the difficulties is about a business plan, and if you don’t have one, why even try? I know writing is more than typing away at a secluded desk, and we need to gather connections to get films made, but did anyone say we need to do this overnight?

In job applications, you need to specify your skills and how you’ve used them to make a difference. This makes me feel I need to win competitions if I’m to call myself a writer, and instantly sparks up doubt. If I’ve not won anything, perhaps I’m no good. Perhaps I should call it a day and find a responsible job with a clear path to the top of the career ladder?

And where is this top, I ask? As a creative, whenever I finish a project, no matter how good or how bad, I’m left with a sense of dissatisfaction. There are other ideas to write and new things to try. Cameron calls artists spiritual sharks; we need to keep on swimming or else we die. If we take the career ladder notion, then how does it apply, for surely at the top there only more rungs to climb? Perhaps then, a creative life is not about a business plan, but the lifestyle we enjoy as we do that which we love.

This week helped me find things I enjoy and embrace my life, warts and all. I looked over changes I’d made on the Artist’s Way, and noticed I’ve started listening to classical music and film soundtracks. I’ve identified people I like to be around, and people I don’t. I’ve realised my urge to travel is real and needs to be embraced. And how have I done this? Through morning pages, artist dates, and the other exercises of this course. What lies at the root of these exercises is the ability to listen to my inner-child. To focus on me and what I like.

Affirmations have been the key to allowing me to be myself. I’ve posted them all around my Story Fort (my workstation), and most key to these past few weeks have been the words, “I get what I enjoy out of my writing, and that’s what makes it great.” It reminds me true greatness comes not from awards or glory, but through embracing my passion. Of course, films are made to entertain and inspire others, but I believe the key starts here. If I allow myself to re-work and re-write ideas and stories, embrace my artist and say what I have to say with true passion, then perhaps the story, script, play, will have something that audiences can enjoy.

This article is based on my experiences from following Julia Cameron's, The Artist's Way, a twelve week course designed to help blocked artist's rediscover their creative selves.

The Artist's Way, Check In - Week 2

I'm following The Artist's Way, a step-by-step recovery programme for blocked artists. The second week encouraged I do things I enjoy to regain a sense of identity. It was a roller-coaster week, where everything either fell into place, or left me in fear that my recovery would be short lived.

I never thought I was blocked until I read this book, and realised all the hits to my self-esteem had built up a wall of fear between me and my creativity. The Artist's Way encourages followers to write three pages of long-hand stream of consciousness thoughts and feelings every morning. I felt they were taking up my precious time and started as a real chore, but I couldn't wait to get my thoughts on the page by the end of the second week. They brought clarity to my day, and enabled me to plan ahead, capture new ideas for stories, or rant about annoying encounters.

This week I wrote affirmations with my morning pages and read the basic principles day and night, a set of guidelines setting the purpose of the book, my favourite being;  "When we open ourselves to exploring our creativity, we open ourselves to God: good orderly direction." Cameron says her use of the word God isn't religious, but refers instead to a divine source of creative energy. I felt more connected to this energy as the week went by, and found myself in the right place at the right time, what Cameron calls synchronicity.

I went to a Hawk Conservancy to get in touch with Eagle energy after reading a book on power animals. The flying display was cut short due to the wind, so the handler brought a bird for us to hold, one which they don't normally allow in the hands of the public, a Bald Eagle, the animal I came in search of connecting with.

This confirmed I was on the right path. I felt full of energy as I allowed myself to spend a few hours baking and playing Zelda on the Wii. One exercise required I write a list of ten tiny changes, and as a result I wrote an old friend. I felt more creative, and wrote blog posts, articles, and finished a scene for a new play. The exercises nurtured my creative self, opening me to my creativity, which bore the fruits of synchronicity and joy.

My magical day was followed by a slump. I went for a walk as my artist date, but cut it short as the car-park closed early. I had more shifts at a hotel, and felt myself slipping from the creative power I'd felt. Thankfully, week three mentioned this as a normal part of recovery, and I should see such days as a chance to rest. Morning pages were really useful on these difficult days, as they gave me a chance to reacquaint myself with my desires, set my intention with the great creator, and bring positive thoughts through affirmation.

Next week is all about recovering a sense of power, something I feel I could use as I continue my journey.