How to Turn-Out Your Creativity like a Wardrobe

When was the last time you had a turn-out? If you’re anything like me, it’s been a while; five years of bills and receipts, CDs I once enjoyed, and photos and bric-a-brac of memories long since passed. It was liberating to clear out the clutter, lending to clear thought and concentration, leading me to wonder if the same could be done with creative ideas.

My turn-out was inspired in part by Julia Cameron’s book, The Prosperous Heart, which views prosperity not as money but as self-worth, and hopes to free readers of anxiety and increase the flow of creativity into their lives. “Clearing away the rubble makes for clear thoughts,” she says in chapter four, and such was my experience.

I was meant to be packing up my room for moving, but instead filled several bin-bags with paperwork and boxes of CDs to sell. It didn’t stop there though. I unsubscribed from several newsletters and emails that I never read, and tossed out old magazines. It was nice to feel clarity returning as I filed away my neatly closed folder of documents into my tidy drawer.

Memories and bric-a-brac were the worst, such as old photos of out of touch friends from school, and old receipts, badges and tickets. I threw it all out, save a few key cards from big events and photos from treasured family holidays. What was scary was how those items brought back the same memories, feelings and emotions as when I’d first filed them away, although now I’d changed and the memories no longer fit. I found a ring once given to a past girlfriend, and could remember the same love I’d felt, which now seemed naïve and wrong. From out of sight, energy remains, and stops new energy flowing into your life, energy you may need, so it’s good to throw out these things, like old clothes you no longer like to wear.

The experience reminded me of something I’d read in The Wind is My Mother, a book by Native American Medicine Man, Bear Heart. He spoke of the vision quest, a venture into wilderness to communicate with a higher being. His questers fasted for up to four days in the wild, which allowed them to become vessels, empty of daily requirements and thought to allow communication to flow through them. I re-read this and thought about my turn-out, how I was now free of clutter and open to receive.

I’m not saying we need to go without daily requirements or possessions to be creative (and stress Bear Heart’s warnings that these quests are only done with an experienced sponsor) but look at how freeing ourselves of clutter, filling our lives with only that which we enjoy, and how, for example, clearing out junk emails and staying on top of our finances can leave us with a clearer, freer mind, hopefully allowing creativity to flow more easily though us.

I also believe you can turn-out your creativity, much like a cupboard or a wardrobe, and discard those ideas and projects that no longer fit or excite. I really wanted to crack on with another project after my masters, and filled my head with ideas for feature films, shorts and plays. My insecurity over writing my next big thing led me to become so clogged with story threads that I couldn’t concentrate on a single one.

I wrote down my ideas in a word document, taking them from brain to paper, freeing me of the burden of carrying them. I then went through and asked of each story what it was really about. Several seemed to be about the same thing, so I collated those ideas into a single idea that expressed what I wanted to say. Some seemed to best relate to old projects that still needed work, so I decided rather than write something new, I’d revisit a past project.

I also asked why I want to write this story. What excites me about it, and if nothing, out it went. I also asked if the idea was practical, if the characters and motivations were believable, and some I found didn’t really fit together, and so I cast those aside too. In the end, I had a much shorter list, but of ideas that I could honestly say I wanted to work on.

Clearing our environment of junk to allow clear thinking, allowing ourselves to become a vessel for creativity to flow through us, and organising our creative ideas to stop us being weighed down and unable to write have been the focus of this post. If you’ve been at all clogged or unfocused, perhaps some of this could apply to you. If so, take a breath, relax, turn-out unwanted possessions and ideas, and take baby-steps each day towards your goal.

If anything, I hope this advice will guide you to a freer and happier existence, and open doors to fresh energies and experiences, as I hope to bring into my renewed, creative life.

Click the following link to check out Julia Cameron's, The Prosperous Heart.

And here for more information on Bear Heart's book, The Wind is My Mother.

Creative Blocks; The Artist’s Way, Check In – Week Ten

What is a creative block? In The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron suggests work, alcohol, sex; anything to prevent us from facing the page. I never thought drinking with friends was a block, until I wondered if I aimed for a next day hangover to give myself a day free from writing.

This week was particularly hard for me as I freaked out about the value of my writing and desperately sought jobs to help me feel secure and successful, but after working though the exercises, I was back on track with some ground-breaking insights into why I sometimes pick up a creative block.

I started the week in a stupor about money and damned my writing. “This is so irresponsible,” I thought, “I really have to get my act together.” I wanted a back-up plan and a more secure career, something to support me and prove my greatness to others, a quick way up the ladder to success. I’m not actually all that competitive, but I do get jealous of other peoples successes and sometimes get angry at artists who're happy to get on with their creative work. It’s a defence mechanism. I’m not mad at them, but rather at myself for lacking the self-confidence to get on with my art.

I think it's okay to be sure of our abilities and rave about our latest ideas, as often it’s not us raving about how clever we are (although for some, it might be) but us getting excited about our art. This is passion. Happy, unblocked artists are happy to create till the cows come home and call themselves artists no matter what people think or how successful they are. It's like a musician friend once told me; "you can't please everyone," but you can certainly please yourself.

My desire for success stems out of a need for a success to hide behind. If I work in a pub, this is a threat, as how can I prove to others I'm an artist? I crave something tangible to show for my hard-work, otherwise I only have my creative projects to prove it, and what if they aren't any good? What am I then? I know I can’t not have a job for however long it takes for me to go from aspiring to published (although surely it's all about the journey and not a perceived goal of glory?), but I shouldn’t worry about the work I do in the meantime. As my passion is my writing, it doesn't matter what I do as long as I write. I am an artist no matter what it looks like to others.

Creative blocks seem to pop up when we are struck with fear, but as I learnt from the documentary, Finding Joe, fear doesn't go away. We can't get rid of it, but we can act in the face of it. Write despite our money fears and our insecurities about our day jobs or how we're going to pay the bills. This is my aim for the rest of this year. To become a carefree, happy writer. To become more me!

Money; How Much Do We Need to Be Happy? The Artist's Way, Check In - Week 6

This week’s journey along the Artist’s Way explored how we think about money, how we can encourage it to flow freely into our lives by doing that which we enjoy, and how we can embrace family, friends, experiences, and all that makes us happy to regain a true sense of abundance.

I started the week in the wake of major life changes, and feelings of anxiety and loss. I’d arranged a six week unpaid holiday from work to focus on writing and ended a long-term relationship, which although both were my choice, had changed the world significantly around me.

The exercises helped me embrace the small things in life. I remembered Cameron spoke of the joy of owning things uniquely yours, and that you don’t have to spend a lot of money to be happy, and spent two pounds on a cup and saucer from a charity shop, which made a pot of tea taste even better.

I treated myself to a DVD box-set when I realised I had a ton of films I wanted to watch, which although a little extravagant, filled me with joy when it came through the post.

It wasn’t just about spending money. One of the exercises had me collect rocks and leaves from the garden, some of which I put on my desk to remind me of my creative path. Saying yes to freebies was another great task. Too many times I’ve been offered a coffee and let it go cold as I won’t give myself two seconds to drink it. I started to say yes to simple pleasures, enjoying a glass of lemonade, a piece of cake, or even a two second sit down, and found myself feeling happier. 

Experiences can be a great way of feeling abundant. I cooked exciting meals to practise a hobby and enjoy comfort food. Friends can also fill us with abundance, and I arranged to meet four of them during my time off. I ended the week realising how much I had in my life, and became grateful for every second.

Did I see any changes in money matters? Well, not much, but I did check my car insurance and it’s not too expensive this year, and forgot about tips at the hotel and had a lovely £55 surprise.

I mainly realised I hadn’t been treating myself, nor doing my artist dates very well. I’ve been on weekly walks for my blog, but never much else. I realised how hard it was to let myself go and have fun in the face of projects and deadlines, so this week I’ve already taken two artist dates, one a walk, and the other a trip to the cinema. I watched my favourite shows on Netflix, read more, and had a few meditations, which helped me relax.

I started this week feeling anxious, alone and too tired to write, but with a few extra luxuries, dates with my friends, and ideas for travel plans during my time off, I felt a sense of joy creeping in. I guess we don't need much money in order to be happy, but of course we do have to support ourselves. I think it's a leap of faith, of doing what you enjoy and trusting the universe will take care of you if you do, at least that's how I hope my experience goes as I take my six week break.

The Artist's Way, Check In - Week 3

I'm following The Artist's Way, a step-by-step recovery programme for blocked artists. I knew week three would be difficult when put on mostly 6.30 starts at work. I've worked a few in a week before but had to pick up the slack to cover a colleague on holiday. I had a day off before they started and used the time for my artist date. 

I took a fantastic two hour walk through the country and took lots of pictures. I really let myself play with the camera and was really proud of my snaps. I felt the creative child within laughing with joy, and that's when I experienced more synchronicity. I was thinking about volunteering with the Ramblers, an organisation who help access pathways across the country, when two seconds later, I looked to a post and saw a sign demonstrating the Ramblers work. 

Once the mornings started, and I came home drained and frustrated that I couldn't work on the many projects in mind, I felt disconnected, and worried I was having a major creative relapse. I continued to write my morning pages (at 5.30am!) and worked on the exercises, which actually helped me understand what was going on.

The exercises were about listening to what we need to nurture ourselves and be nurtured, instead of what we think we should have and do. It had you list bad habits, think about nurturing people in your life and people you admire, and if you admire them for what you think you should be doing, or if they truly are a role model to learn from.

In the light of all this, I can say my slump was down to a host of bad habits, foes and opinions. I worked lots of hours and felt really tired, and could've just run with this, and said, okay, I'm tired, I'll rest. Cameron even says its normal to have some unproductive days. I guess a subtle foe this week was not having the time to write, and hanging out with people not on a creative wavelength, giving to others rather than giving to myself. 

Last week we thought about protecting ourselves, and I certainly need to protect myself from these unsociable hours and ensure I don't continue to have my energy sapped. Failing that, I could've accepted this as a down week and run with it. I could've baked each day and taken my down week to the self-nurturing max, but I didn't. 

Why? 

I knew I was on holiday the following week and wouldn't get much done, so wanted to pick up the slack and write my ass off. I felt I had to be productive, like some of my friends whom I thought I admired, who are so very productive all the time, and whose careers have taken off at alarming speed. In reality, I only think I should admire these people and be as productive as them, despite what my body might be telling me. I felt I should be working despite my tiredness. Opinions about what is worthy and right clouded my inner compass. This inner compass is what Cameron calls our intuitive sense of what we truly need in regards to health, and when something is truly right or wrong for us. I betrayed my inner compass and didn't give it the rest it was begging for.

It might be worth me thinking about how I spend my time and if the job I'm in is truly beneficial towards my inner artist. I can also tattoo Cameron's lovely phrase to every inch of my body. 

"Easy accomplishes it"

I cannot free the artist within through pressure and demanding. I must be self-nurturing, even if I feel it doesn't take me anywhere fast. I must be willing to listen to the artist within.

The Artist's Way, Check-In - Week 1

I read the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron and am now following the weekly tasks. At the end of each week, she requires you check-in and review any noticeable creative or spiritual changes. I discovered I'm too hard on myself, I don't believe I deserve to have fun, and rediscovered past enemies who once knocked my creative self-worth, and have started to review and over-come them.

The first week had a strong focus on what she calls creative affirmations, and the 'voices' we hear when we say them, known as blurts. It sounds a bit weird at first, but hear me out. I wrote the affirmation, "I, Gareth, am entitled to a fun, creative life." As I wrote it, I heard myself saying, "But how will I afford it? I don't deserve it. Only if I do enough work." It's the critical side of your brain, and the build up of past experiences and beliefs that stop us being true to ourselves. I took this blurt and re-wrote it to say, "I, Gareth, deserve a fun filled creative life and have all available resources to do so," a much more positive statement that permits me to work at something I enjoy.

One of Cameron's other exercises required I travel back in time and picture past doubters who made me doubt myself. A few people instantly came to mind; past bosses, parents and friends, and I soon realised these people were the source of my blurts. The idea that I can only have fun after hard work, work being anything non-creative (as how can work be fun?) stems from hard-working friends at uni who made me feel lazy (through no fault of their own) for focusing my energies on creative tasks. It's also a lack of self-worth, me believing that I must work to achieve and prove myself, as opposed to writing just because I enjoy it.

Later, I wrote, "I, Gareth, am a successful screenwriter," and suddenly a blurt shouted, "You've never made a good film in your life." I instantly recalled an old demon from uni when I made a film and got a really bad grade. I hated the film too, and when I saw my friends had done much better than me, which in fairness, they had, that was it. I decided I wasn't a filmmaker and might as well give up, and in those first few years after uni, I couldn't finish a script for deciding it was rubbish and worthless.

It's been fascinating to discover the moments in life when I've adopted a negative view to my creativity, and I'm glad for these exercises teasing out my monsters, giving me a chance to face them and send them back into the abyss. I feel more confident with my writing, and more comfortable with myself. I feel able to turn up at the page each day and write because I want to, and will not let failure get in the way, or my strange guilt that makes me feel I should be doing something more productive.

I'm remembering those who have praised me in the past, and am ready to let myself have a little more fun, which will lead me in good stead as I head into week 2, rediscovering a sense of identity.

Can We Be Creative Workaholics?

I've been reading the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, a truly wonderful resource for 'blocked artists', and stumbled upon an interesting addiction apparently used to block creative energy; workaholism. As I read and ticked most of the boxes for a typical workaholic, I tried to make sense of how it applied to me, as I'm mostly a workaholic with creative projects. Not that I write more than anyone else, but seem to focus on writing and don't do much else, finding myself clogged and over-tired. Is it possible to be a creative workaholic?

"If I had more time I'd have more fun." Her phrase pretty much sums me up. I put off things that make me happy to achieve a perceived higher goal. I feel I must working on creative projects if I'm to make it as a writer, but often stop going to the cinema or reading scripts, stuff that would probably help my writing.

I sometimes don't want to cut back on any projects as I feel this will make me less worthy, lazy even. After reading this book, however, I think I take on so many projects to avoid finishing any of them, giving me the chance to slate myself and devoid myself of worth. It's fear that drives me, fear I won't become a successful writer unless I push myself. This is a problem also outlined in the book. In striving to be a great writer, I stop myself from becoming a writer at all.

I'll give an example. Earlier this year I had a conversation with my cousin, and after which revived an old blog and finally got round to setting this one up, something I've put off for a while. This was a positive step, but soon I became anxious. "How will I keep the deadlines?" I wondered, fearing that if I didn't, I'd seem a hack, not a real blogger at all. Before long, the blog posts were suffering, partly because I was doing too much, but also because I told myself I had to blog, or die.

I realised my mistake after reading the workaholic section. It's far better for me to firstly focus on a few projects to ensure I don't put myself under too much pressure. Secondly, I need to make sure I'm writing not because I fear I have to succeed in my goal, but because I want to, and have something to say. Right now I'm logged in not out of fear, but because I'm quite excited to share this revelation.

It seems a case of balance. We can and should put in time to reach our creative goals, but should be aware of piling our plates too high, and make sure we're writing for the right reasons: is it a need to succeed in our careers, or simply because today we want to write?