Creative Blocks; The Artist’s Way, Check In – Week Ten

What is a creative block? In The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron suggests work, alcohol, sex; anything to prevent us from facing the page. I never thought drinking with friends was a block, until I wondered if I aimed for a next day hangover to give myself a day free from writing.

This week was particularly hard for me as I freaked out about the value of my writing and desperately sought jobs to help me feel secure and successful, but after working though the exercises, I was back on track with some ground-breaking insights into why I sometimes pick up a creative block.

I started the week in a stupor about money and damned my writing. “This is so irresponsible,” I thought, “I really have to get my act together.” I wanted a back-up plan and a more secure career, something to support me and prove my greatness to others, a quick way up the ladder to success. I’m not actually all that competitive, but I do get jealous of other peoples successes and sometimes get angry at artists who're happy to get on with their creative work. It’s a defence mechanism. I’m not mad at them, but rather at myself for lacking the self-confidence to get on with my art.

I think it's okay to be sure of our abilities and rave about our latest ideas, as often it’s not us raving about how clever we are (although for some, it might be) but us getting excited about our art. This is passion. Happy, unblocked artists are happy to create till the cows come home and call themselves artists no matter what people think or how successful they are. It's like a musician friend once told me; "you can't please everyone," but you can certainly please yourself.

My desire for success stems out of a need for a success to hide behind. If I work in a pub, this is a threat, as how can I prove to others I'm an artist? I crave something tangible to show for my hard-work, otherwise I only have my creative projects to prove it, and what if they aren't any good? What am I then? I know I can’t not have a job for however long it takes for me to go from aspiring to published (although surely it's all about the journey and not a perceived goal of glory?), but I shouldn’t worry about the work I do in the meantime. As my passion is my writing, it doesn't matter what I do as long as I write. I am an artist no matter what it looks like to others.

Creative blocks seem to pop up when we are struck with fear, but as I learnt from the documentary, Finding Joe, fear doesn't go away. We can't get rid of it, but we can act in the face of it. Write despite our money fears and our insecurities about our day jobs or how we're going to pay the bills. This is my aim for the rest of this year. To become a carefree, happy writer. To become more me!